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Showing posts from August, 2014

Struggling with Depression

I felt the need to write and share my experiences with this monster called depression, who came with a beautiful face and took over two and a half years of my life. Before you proceed... kindly note that sympathy is not welcomed here, I only need you to understand what depression is through my story.

To date most of the times I don't remember who I used to be before all that or how I would have interacted with people on a social basis. Healing is a process and I am finding pieces of me slowly.

I am a Communication Officer for an organization which works for children with disability! which means that for most part of my day I will be interacting with stigmatized parents, children... suppliers other staff etc and without a proper emotional system.

I don't remember actually how I found myself in house of self hate and destruction, I just did. Writing about it is not any easier than talking about it, though my counseling friend advised me to talk about it until all the pain dis…

Take me to Nirvana!

Carry me on monsoons and hurricanes that beat me and wake me
Carry me past hills to mountains and drop me so I may crush on rocks
Kill me at any chance you got because I don't feel pain no more
I should...
I really should

Stab me from the front when I see you doing it
I promise I will not fight with you... at least I will see your face
Or better yet send bandits in the midst of the night so they can beat me to death
Kill me at any chance you got because I don't feel pain no more
I should
I really should

One thing I ask you... don't lie about anything
Be yourself don't even pretend to like me
Tell me those things you say about me and don't feel guilty
I can never fight back... never have never will
Kill me at any chance you got because I don't feel pain no more

© Namatsi Lukoye

Forbidden Fruit!

She lives in a lie... in my world
I only float in some wilderness in her eyes
My only hope is that her eyes can see the truth my soul
She would know that I should break no more
I am not after lust... she should know that
I am grown I am looking for things that make one strong…
how I feel when in her arms
But things like this should never be said... where I come from
Its a sin that preacher said as he buried me in prayer
But since when was love a sin

She is perfect in every way... curve to curve, bone to skin
Yet I am scared of everything about her
even feelings that consume me...
Are they little forces planted by the devil himself?
I wonder where the gods were hiding... when she walked my way
I just wonder whether I am being tempted? Or can I really find love in another woman
My society wouldn’t like a poem like this… that’s why poetry is my deepest friend
I still go to church… bend my knees, and cry not to feel like this
I ask forgiveness for feeling this way
But at the end of the…


honoured to be performing this poem at a friends wedding this coming Saturday... am so happy for them

He was born in mars
She was born in Venus
But the pull of the earths gravity made their spirits one
Like the power of the sun , I felt their passions burn
And watched their love glow and grow
Glow and grow

He was her charmer
She was the beauty of a rose
He held her heart… yet she was his strength
Painter of her world! Venus is such a mosaic they always say…
And mars… well mars can be something else
But in this race of life… I would rather be running with you
Their eyes would say… even when the storm was caving in

And when their hands touched they said
Royalty, put on your crown and take your place
Love me more… and more… and more
Love me when I am young, when my skin is smooth and my hair is makes heads turn
Love me when I age too… in my wrinkles and when I try to hide those grey hairs… Love me still
Rhythm divine calm me from the dangers of the world… with a kiss a hug…
Strangle me…

This Phone business

Ever wondered why small children play with their parents phones as toys
A game is just a key away, a world away
Running away from this world in a couple of years the parent will say
'I don't know how to get through to him/her!'

We are getting smartphones because our brains are sleeping...
Our friends live on whatsup, twitter, facebook, and that's where we wanna be
Those that make the effort to be there... we are too busy to notice as we chat away
And most of the time... too busy sexting another man's woman or vice versa
Staring at pictures, looking for likes and followers as if they will weep on our graves!

Make time for your friends.... call them up!
Don't let your friendship get lost in a machine!
Oh and when you are with them.... enjoy every moment of the laughter and tears
And when you get the urge to look at the phone... its time to go :) hehe Namatsi

© Namatsi Lukoye