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I am not yours to FIX



There is nothing as terrible as living in a circle,
when all you want is a dark corner that you can comfortably hide and cry in
How do you live as an open book when every reader is a critic
Watching your every step and even when they don't say it
You feel it.... the judgement in the eyes as they scroll one word to the next

(a feel of what's coming in :- All that I am - Namatsi)

I am trapped in this circle;
What i really want well the heavens lied about it
So I am lost somewhere in paradise... confused
It is not as it was told...
The rivers are not clear... pure blood
The gates are not golden... iced tears
There is no music... Choir master rebelled!
And I miss everything,
Everything I once hated
Everything that I once believed in...
Even the silence between us
I miss the stench of our rotting corpses...
Even the worms crawling on top of us... I miss it all

I wish I should have listened to the voice inside... I am not yours to fix
I am not a mix that you need to solve with your tricks
Learn this… I am not yours to study or to feel sorry for
My life is not your politics, don’t pray for me or hope that I will change
Words floating to the sky don’t have a thing on me! That’s not my cage
I am not yours to worry about… so let me die in this drought
Tasteless sorry french kisses you give, what do you know about being a friend!
I stopped trying and learning how to pretend… am not good at it
Let’s be enemies, let’s kill these dark melodies
DIE! DIE! DIE!
I am not here for you to try correct
Let my pride be the end of me… because I will not listen to you
Let me live as I please, love as I want, and if the result is to burn… then let me burn
BURN! BURN! BURN!
Till the sky cries and the earth sings
Let me go to a road of finding me alone
I miss me every aspect of me! Even the drama queen who held a knife!


Mimi siwako wa kukosoa, kufunza wala kujaribu kuunda
Usikose usingizi shida zangu ukijifanya watatua
I know that I am fragile but aren’t we all… so when I break into pieces
Stay away, I have elements of the devil himself I could cut you… or worse I could kill you!
And anyway, how you gonna help me with a knife in your hand
A log in your eye? And the rejoicing smile you do when you turn away!
I see you… beneath all your eeeish… I feel you
I am not yours to fix… I am not yours to fix! And never yours to save
Poetry has always done that, don’t try compete

This voice you killed... I want it back
I am tired of this space... of the light
I am not a defined script, I make my own way in this journey heading to death,
Death, that kind cruel friend who smiles at us all and takes us to rest,
Why is she misunderstood?
I am not afraid of her...
Anyway, till trees grow downwards and waterfalls make love to the sky
In times of misty doubt and clear joys,
I am on a trip to find me... and I don't need your sympathy


© Namatsi Lukoye

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The loyalty Pledge (Kenya)

I pledge my loyalty to the President
and Nation of Kenya
My readiness and duty
to defend the flag of our Republic
My life, strength and service
in the task of nation building
In the living spirit embodied
in our National motto 'Harambee'

and perpetuated in the
Nyayo philosophy
of Peace, Love and Unity.


Thinking Moi’s dictatorship!
As children we had to make the pledge!
In our rags!
With no shoes on!
Bribed with milk (maziwa ya nyayo for staying so loyal)
We recited the words out loud
Religiously we recited at the school assembly
Attention we stood when recited or else we would face the wrath of the cane!






© Namatsi Lukoye

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Nguvu gani jamani Si kawaida nashuku ni vela au voodoo  Labda ni uchawi ulibeba toka pwani Nawaogopa wanaokuja kama wewe - naogopa si mchezo! Iwe vipi nawa mchenge Mie pwagu iwe vipi nalemewa hivi
Macho yakikutana - yangu ya legea Natamani ardhi ifunguke nijifichie Najikaza najiwekea nanyamazia - Mwili nao msaliti - jamani, vile moyo wapiga Mwili wanisaliti - hata jinsi napumua Mwili wanisaliti - maji hayo nishakua
and when you touch me  Za! Twende sasa! Nipe yote kesho labda si yetu Cheza nami usiogope kitu Au labda tupande kwa majani tufike angani zetu Una nguvu ajab, nikipi chanisumbua 
Na wanimaliza huachi hata mfupa  - umeninasa hongera mvuvi Vidole kawa miguu, sasa basi tembea jua nchi Zama kisimani - palipo madini labda almasi Nawe kwa ujuzi - ule - mizizi hata mchuzi
Shanga kiunoni - nacho hakidanganyi Kilivyo jilegeza - upate pa kushikilia kilivyo jiachilia - upate…

Just before I killed the Cupid!

Look at you... finding your way into a love story! Well then buckle up!
A couple of months ago I was burning every thought of love from my space and life because I had stopped believing in it. I actually hated that word. Someone would say it to me and I would totally flip out concluding the story with, 'the world is too fake to figure out what love is!' My friends would introduce me to new people, or encourage me join dating sites – but I always felt so desperate doing this! People were just shallow! My poems turned dark – they focused more on pain and I would define pain so beautifully you would want to marry it! I look back and cannot believe I gave too much of my time on the darkness.
Day 1
Things can really change! I met him in an official setting - I had been called to give a presentation about this and that; quite honestly I wasn't up for it. I dragged myself out of the office, sweet talking myself that I needed the fresh air and to meet new people. I do not like meetin…