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The Note

All she did was leave a note
All she did was ask a question
Why me?
Silently going crazy
All she did was weep inside…
Nobody cared about her outward tears
All she did was scar her heart
And imagine that nobody cared
So all she did was leave a note that caught our attention and change our concentration

All she did was to try too hard
Suicidal thoughts giving her brain a lap dance
All she did was think that this was the only way she could get some attention
She did; was everything wrong or so they thought
Question everything right... break rules
Create a world of hate around her cause there was no light
How could God be so cruel, unjust and unkind
She lived in a ghetto mentality… her reality and path had bold colours of poverty as its rails
So when she stumbled to the side looking for a place to lean on
All she did was stare at the stains of loneliness left on her palms by those rails
As the blisters on her feet empathized by being less pain
Spent all her time in this devils field which grew into her addiction
So all she did was leave a note that caught our attention and change our concentration

As her thoughts attracted her destiny
All she did was curse and remain bitter
She drowned in cups the cheapest liquor her friend could give
And raised her skirt higher and higher to any one who could take
And even dogs and cows stared in disbelief
To the sun… she let the warmth of its rays mock her
To the moon… she let the cold it brought rape her
All she did was see this as her only way to see tomorrow
So all she did was leave a note that caught our attention and change our concentration

All she did was everything wrong, her neighbours said in grief…
Yet nobody stepped out to help her
Now the whole village mourns… for the sins of a mother
Driven by love and hopelessness and poverty
What a sad story
We lamented as we shook our heads

Too poor to afford a 20ksh pen or 5ksh paper
She engraved her note on the walls of her mud house
The walls bled with the weight and depth of her words
And everyone who read it was stricken by grief
Too embarrassed because someone could have done something while she breathed
Instead we read her words and watched as her cold body formed a shield of love over her still children
Those words still haunt
They shake the world and scare lions to their dens
They embarrass a country and make leaders hide their faces
As the smell of death and tears filled the air
Her words chocked journalists who dared to take pictures
They chocked preachers who dared to pray for her it
They chocked the poet, the musician who dared to sing about it
Someone could have done something
So all she did was leave a note that caught our attention and change our concentration

All she did was leave a note
Two bleeding words

© Namatsi Lukoye

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I pledge my loyalty to the President
and Nation of Kenya
My readiness and duty
to defend the flag of our Republic
My life, strength and service
in the task of nation building
In the living spirit embodied
in our National motto 'Harambee'

and perpetuated in the
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Thinking Moi’s dictatorship!
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Just before I killed the Cupid!

Look at you... finding your way into a love story! Well then buckle up!
A couple of months ago I was burning every thought of love from my space and life because I had stopped believing in it. I actually hated that word. Someone would say it to me and I would totally flip out concluding the story with, 'the world is too fake to figure out what love is!' My friends would introduce me to new people, or encourage me join dating sites – but I always felt so desperate doing this! People were just shallow! My poems turned dark – they focused more on pain and I would define pain so beautifully you would want to marry it! I look back and cannot believe I gave too much of my time on the darkness.
Day 1
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