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Tears of a helpless mama

Every single day I sit next to my baby’s bed
And I watch her slowly die
The doctor told me she may put on a fight but the disease is way too strong
The pain is prolonged and the situation for my little one is just wrong
His pain comes through me and all I do is cry
Am past the stage of, she needs not to see me cry
I think she need to know that I cry for her!
This is the only way I can help her!
Hoping that she knows if I could I would make each tear
Drown it all this mayhem in a storm
Take her from everything she sees and feels
To a place of our own form
The nature is so green
The waters are blue
Where stars sing songs
And the sun is smile at the moon
Pain gone and silence golden
But I am in hells prison, a terrible disease of helplessness
Watching her in pain
Nothing is right and this feeling is nothing but cruel


My baby turns to me… lifts her hand ignoring the pain from the drip
And smiles...
That smile… like a star going twinkle, is treasure to me in this bitter world
I caress her needle scars...
Hold her hand and we share a silence conversation that words cannot compare!
I know and she knows… everything we need to say we already said a minute ago
She can’t talk well but struggles to say… I love you…
And I you baby (and I repeat it again and again)
All I know is that if the angels don’t cry then they must be mean
And if they don’t cry for sure… then I don’t want to be among them
But I am in hells prison, a terrible disease of helplessness
Watching her in pain
Nothing is right and this feeling is nothing but cruel


So I tell her...
My tears my baby, mean that you are the world to me
They bring us a connection that only the heavens can feel
They are here to let you know that
When the sun goes down low
When the moon decides to hide and all feels hollow
When the stars refuse to twinkle
When everything seems to be going wrong
and when you are not sure you can go on
These tears
Wish I was a god and that I had the power to drown all your pain in a storm!
But I am in hells prison, a terrible disease of helplessness
Watching her in pain
Nothing is right and this feeling is nothing but cruel


© Namatsi Lukoye

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