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Heart Ripper!!

My husband is marrying a second wife!
It is tearing my heart apart! Am I not enough?
He said he loves how her waist moves to the drum beats of chakachaka
Pretty mama of high seas
He said she is very pricey
Her laughter sweet and spicy
So I trashed all of me and tried to do it like she did
My husband is getting another woman
He said there was something about her perfume so sweet
The sway of her hips from side to side so nicely
Her smile with the nice teeth
Her voice sweet like ice cream
Soft, silky, light brown skin
There I was trashing all of me, skin lighting… hip enhancement…
Breast implants… because I wanted him to see me
Losing all of me, in trying to make him see me
Me, living in a skeleton where none of it was me


My husband is getting another lady
Was I given his rib for procreating and not to earn his soul
To warm his water, cook his food, and not touch his soul
Suffocating because I love him more than I love me!
When he loves her more than he loves me
It is tearing my heart ap…

Tick Tock Tick Tock

Tick tock tick tock I hear the maternal clock ticking
I feel my ovaries jumping up and down in celebration
I feel the tubes smoothness in preparations of the seed
This seed saved up for just this day… this seed what they call blessing
Oh this seed that will maybe carry my eyes, my smile, my legs or may be my beautiful small breasts
This seed… I feel the maternal clock ticking tick tock tick tock





Tick tock tick tock I hear the maternal clock ticking
I feel it in my brain… it flashes like the sound of a nice song
I see it in little baby Sean… when he smiles at me
I see it in his big white and black eyes… and the beautiful chuckle he make when I play with his tummy
I felt in beautiful baby Natalie, when her soft hands touched mine
I felt it when I touched my best-friend's tummy…. It’s somewhere in that curve
Yes my maternal clock is ticking tick tock tick tock

Tick tock tick tock I hear the maternal clock ticking
I see it in his face… every time he leans forward to kiss me
I see it …

How do I love thee: Elizabeth Barrett Browning

My favourite love poem!!!

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.


© Namatsi Lukoye

Can I make a living out of poetry

There are two kinds of artists, both right in their choices; those who do it for the love of their work and those who do it make a living out of it. In all ways as long as the artist does not forget his passion, it is art. I mean even dentists and lawyers are artists in their professions.

“All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve are a direct result of his own thoughts”.

James Allen

Many people complain that poets in Kenya are getting too commercial hence moving away from free soul in poetry. I do not blame poets for turning commercial or making money from their work… only unfair people would especially in these hard time. So what is one supposed to eat? his words? Poetry can be a career too.

Where poets go wrong is that in the quest for money, we forget our passion. Poetry is an expression of feelings whether our own or of someone else; very few people nowadays are successful in making the audience believe them. This is to say, poetry like acting needs to convince t…

What makes a good poem?

According to R.Pettinger, several things make a good poem; for instance it must be well written with a concise and accurate use of language. It is basically the use of words to express a feeling or an idea. Prose seeks to explain, poetry merely states.

Good poetry is not an argument but convinces the reader through its own power. It should be able to lift the reader out of the ordinary and give glimpses of a more illumining reality. It should express a point and convince the reader to its message. Writers like R.Pettinger and W. Blake argue that a good poem should have powerful lines that play with the imagination of the reader. Great poems engage the heart of the reader, they stick in the mind and are songs to the lips, it should be more than mere intellectual cleverness. Even the great Nelson Mandela memorized the words of William Ernest Henley in one of the greatest poems of the world called 'Invictus.'

"It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punish…

Celebrating Change

Perhaps one of the hardest things in life is accepting change; while it is one of those things that we cannot do without. I always say, change is an animal so tough to tame. It could tear you from the ribs of feelings and moments that the hoped for future had planned for you, or introduce you to heavens joyous orgasms.

The world is full of surprises, of tulip beauty’s and ogre ugly. Yet each time it gives us its hand, we have to accept the good and the bad. I believe that everyone is a living story, unread book, a poem or a song waiting to be told and heard; so among the many gifts given to me by the creator is the power of the ear. We have adopted a new adaptive mechanism to survive; individualism. It is so sad that we have allowed ourselves to be cocooned in our little shells and close the doors to those around us.

They always say start with the bad and finish with the good, so I will. Just the other day I saw this young girl of around five, playing with running unprotected sewer…

Black Man!!! if you dare

Ladies and Gentlemen I hope this poem fulfils the purpose i wrote it for!!! (edited version)



We look at our history to gauge our future
If we erase our past stories, then we are as good as dead, we won’t make it to the next chapter
The present is only a hidden time bomb like a steaming pressure pot
Yet it is the cruel as the monster, consoling us that it is okay to take the path of great disaster
Black man, life is never a fraction it is a whole
The answer to Adams mystery is in the rib found in Eve


The desecration of mama Africa in the past, robbed her naked of her wealth by greed and lust
Her beliefs and way of thinking were considered as pagan values, that should be buried under the dust
The African concept of the Great creator was never understood, never appreciated and never put first
'They' saw no similarity between the God they preached and the African One Supreme Being
We were lost in sin, hopeless in darkness, no education, no chance of getting ahead
They colonized …

You are me

There were times I fought with self defeatism and it almost won over, till I remembered my Lecturer Mr. Majany asking in class, ‘What is the purpose of living if you have already been defeated by life?’ I loved Media Ethics, not because I was doing the course twice but because the class permitted thoughts and opinions to meet and question law. Every word this man said in our discussions stirred up my mind with ideas and questions. It is from these class discussions that I came up with ‘You are me’

You are me

Teach me to change
Teach me to yearn for change
Teach me to love without limits
To see good in people and to believe in people
Teach me to believe in myself
To never underestimate my impact, or my potential
Teach me to be hungry for greatness
Teach me to influence people positively
Teach me to be of value
To add value to the society
Teach me to have personal initiative to do right
Teach me to acquire knowledge in abundance
So as to offer the proper guidance
Teach me agree to be …

Friends, Fans and Artists

It really has been a while since I updated this blog, Thanks to a dear friend and mentor, Dr. Klaus Hornetz, I was working under a project that incorporated me doing a book; a collection of my poems so most of my energy was pulled there. The Kenyan publishing industry is not a very good friend to poetry as I experienced, among other problems. However I decided not to let this break my heart, if I did, then what kind of person would I be?

Another big development is that I have been planning for a show........ yes... I want to do a show and perform my poems. I have been working on them and think that it is about time. I have proposed December the 10th but the decision lies with the venue holders (Safaricom). So friends, fans and artists........ be ready the poetess is about to land again!


© Namatsi Lukoye

Facebook Poets

A dedication to all the Facebook poets

For a while I couldn’t believe it
They call me shallow because my pocket is surface
It can’t go deeper… it doesn’t carry the notes or cheques required to make a book or album
They call me weak because my poetry travels thorough a system that accommodates all forms of evils

They call me not learned, because my poems are called notes and not poems
They disregard my work and think that since I choose facebook, there is no way I can race with the eagles
Sometimes they manage to drag my heart into a tearful and effusive stage of hopeless drunkenness
But most times they make me stronger… give me that balance… as they act as that pivot I ache for
I am a facebook poet

They say I am not a writer because I do not read a book every day, week or month
I blame them not; I am not a writer; I am an artist of words…
I see the world like a painter does and speak about movements of earth in detail like a poet
My words lay not in pages but they spread arms and li…

Family Affair

Pillar since birth
He knew me best even before I could know me
He taught me to spell my name JACQUELINE...
He made me appreciate Namatsi
He taught me to write numbers one to three
He sacrificed, he took loans, he cancelled important meetings to give me the best
When he smiles at me… I know he says, I love you When he pats my back… I know he says, well done
And it’s all good, no it is great
I wish I could say thank you in a way that could express its weight

Heart of steal
I learn from watching him,
I became from listening to him
He has been captain… showed us the way even in the stormy skies
He hurts deep but I have never seen him weep
They say I have his nose… it’s his legs am sure I have…
Strong enough to enable me to cover miles in valleys dark and deep to green pastures
He never says it but I was taught that when he smiles at me… I know he says I love you
And when he pats my back… I know he says, I am proud of you

As thoughts flood as to what my life may…

The dare game!!! on the 17tg of September

Coming Together to Dare you to save a life!!!

THE NEWSPAPER INITIATIVE by VISION SISTERS in corporation with:

*Hisia Zangu Poetry
*Flowetree
*Nairobi's Finest
*Slam Africa
*Fern Poetry
*QalizaSanaa
*Circles with Immah
*Wamathai.com
*Poetry with Adelle
*Verbal Peneration

Here's what some of us have been asking;
"Is Turkana part of a country where the leaders refuse to pay taxes?" Joshua, 22
"How can I help?" Bella, 11
"I hate seeing children dying because of hunger, let us collect newspapers raise funds and help." Margaret, 26

Indeed let us come together to help our brothers and sisters. Highlighting a project started by two friends who are collecting old newspapers to help their country. I urge you to join our cause and help to collect old newspapers which will be sold and the proceeds go towards The Kenya Red Cross for the Kenyans for Kenya Initiative. We invite you to donate old newspapers from your organization or individually towards this ini…

What's my name

Oh na na what’s my name?
Oh na na what’s my name
Oh na na let me scream your name
And baby, do the same but have no shame
Let me flow placidly down on you as we play this game
Hold me tighter, I am yours so, let us yearn for fame
Let us get lost in the flame we blaze

Oh na na what’s my name
Oh na na what’s my name
Oh na na let me scream your name
And baby do the same… ignore all vexations let them call us lame
We are not striving for heroism, let’s hide behind the crane
So let yours, fingers draw the outline of my shape
Lose me in yours, strength as you skillfully craft me
Swing me around in all ways and let’s land on ours, words
Tired of slow, lets ride faster
Now you know am your junkie because I am addicted
So hold me in that thrall… let me flourish… live and die there
Tired of this… pirate, let’s maneuver into new waters
Am tired of circles with their sham, but wholesomely introduce me to new
Take me there, on the pyramid where I can connect with the stars
You and I, we are absces…

Home

I finally get it
As soon as I opened the door
The screams I heard
Everyone running to me, glad to see me!
Namatsi is home!I got it! Pap!

I finally understood this beautiful feeling
That once I may have taken for granted
This feeling my heart warmed up to, how blind could I have been
I felt important for once in this world of rush
I could not believe it, it is like I had some powers
They ran to me with hugs and kisses
Picked up my bags and calmed my bruises

Now I understood why they say east to west home is best
I never told them of the world
I never mentioned that the world had crushed me
I never told them of the mistreatment
They never cared about how much I made
I never told them that, really...
Out there I was a speck of dust
That was stepped on by every shoe from God knows where
I never told them that I was a misfit to the world, a nobody
But somehow in here... I was noticed
This must be love in its purest element
Now I am glad that to have this small world
I am glad to be …

The witch of Eye (edited)

There is a woman down this hill
Evil and beastly
Atapaa popote kukuweka majani
Uchawi ameulewa ni wake usanii

There is a woman down this hill
Everyone fears
Mapenzi alikwara yuko peke yake
Usifikiri rafiki… wivu ndio wake

There is a woman down this hill
Hana panga, macho ndio silaha
Watoto awatupa kaburini, wazazi hofu awajaza

There is a woman down this hill
Hamwogopi Allah!
Bibilia haimtishi, aibeba mwenyewe!

There is a woman down this hill
Karibu na makaburini
Atakutoa nduki, urafiki hatamani


© Namatsi Lukoye

Love Is Not A Fight by Warren Barfield

Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
It's a house we enter in
Then commit to never leave

So lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
We'll work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees


Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

To some, love is a word
That they can fall into
But when they're falling out
Keeping that word is hard to do

Love will come to save us
If we'll only call
He will ask nothing from us
But demand we give our all

I will fight for you
Would you fight for me?
It's worth fighting for

I was RAPED!!!

I had it, I had it all
Strength, love, warmth,
I had it all, wealth, diamonds, minerals beyond believe
I had the most powerful curves from side to side; I had it all
I had a pride that was black and powerful; and I danced in it
I had the freshest flows, filled with purity and calmness I took pride in it
I loved my waters, I loved the flows gentle and sweet like a baby’s kiss; I had it all
I had it all; then they raped me

They took advantage of me
Their goal was to destroy me; like vultures they scrambled inside me tearing me apart
They dragged me on paths filled with pieces of glass
My spirit bruised my skin tattered
They attacked my soul and fed on my blood
They made me hate myself, as they took the best of me
And they were done; they looked at me and spat to my face, laughing
They left me for dead destroyed like Haiti after the earth quake
And no one helped me
I cried for so long but no one heard my cry
I had faded into Jurassic park but now I am back
I realized that I have a heart …

Nostaglia

I am my mama’s child

Reminiscing the days I wore mama’s pams

The days I went through her wardrobe

Ponds on

Lipstick check

Wanja check… everywhere right to the one dot on the cheek

The little girl who went with her mother to the market

The one who sat on the sewing machine

The one who peddled and broke all the needles of sewing machine

Ask them they will tell you

They know me well

They know I was my mother’s child

They know I talked like her

They know I laughed like her

They knew I would be a tailor like my lovely mama

They called me the little tailor

I have grown so much

I have drifted so much

Life has thrown me to the other side of the world

But I am still mama’s little girl

I am still the little tailor

The one who peddled the machine

I still peddle… I still make…

I stitch word and word and try to make it in this garment of called life

They knew me best



I am my papa’s child

They know me well

They were convinced that I would step to the floor dance and do the sing

They will tell you o…

I pray for hope

I pray for mothers and fathers
I pray for their prayers and dreams in their children
I pray for the spirit of the child
I pray for hope


© Namatsi Lukoye

I don't want to be woman today

Swimming in the sand pit of the hour glass of life
The stream of sand is getting narrow
Today I want to be a sparrow
I want to fly without being noticed to skies of tomorrow
For some reason today I have so much sorrow
Yet I can’t point what kind of chisel is chipping into my heart of steal

I don’t want to be woman today
I don’t want to love with all my heart
I cry like a child when broken
I don’t want to be friend; let me be; my heart is weary

I don’t want to be woman today
My own body betrays me
Once every month it creates its own stormy skies and I cry for no reason
I don’t want to be anyone’s pillar; let me be; my soul is dry


I don’t want to be woman today
I hate this point right here! I love you yes,
But I don’t want to hold your hand
I don’t want to be anyone’s lover; let me be; my spirit wants to sleep

I don’t want to be woman today
I want to be free of razors!
I want to love all the hairs on my body; on my legs and the two on my chin
I don’t want to be great; not even close…

I am uneven

As per my previously confessed inspiration...


I am Uneven


I am drowning in the air of self defeatism
Lost in the forest of a cocktailed criticism
I have been forged into cynicism
Because I feel that we have touched the heart of ugly capitalism
My feet are tired, blistered from dragging on pretense communism
My spirits swims in the waters of doubt
And; tears of my heart gracefully meander down
Life will always have its amazing race

This feeling got me floating on wings of broken dreams
My soul is haunted by future ghosts screams
My pride is fed on untested lies-cream
My ears ache from stories of troubles worse
My heart curses the dreams laid in high pitched hearses
As; tears of my heart gracefully meander down
I tuck my face in my underneath lace
Life will always have its amazing maze


© Namatsi Lukoye

It is complicated

Twisted... locked in... blinded
Into the mind of a slave



I know it’s over
But I wish it wasn’t
I know that I need to move on
But I insist
I know, I see, I feel the hurt right to my soul
But I pardon
I believe he will change
It is complicated

I know you did that
But I cover up mistakes
I ignore the pain
I hate the truth
Funny thing is… it only hurts when my heart beats
I feel dead, but, the pain makes me feel alive
It is complicated


© Namatsi Lukoye

The loyalty Pledge (Kenya)

I pledge my loyalty to the President
and Nation of Kenya
My readiness and duty
to defend the flag of our Republic
My life, strength and service
in the task of nation building
In the living spirit embodied
in our National motto 'Harambee'

and perpetuated in the
Nyayo philosophy
of Peace, Love and Unity.


Thinking Moi’s dictatorship!
As children we had to make the pledge!
In our rags!
With no shoes on!
Bribed with milk (maziwa ya nyayo for staying so loyal)
We recited the words out loud
Religiously we recited at the school assembly
Attention we stood when recited or else we would face the wrath of the cane!






© Namatsi Lukoye

I AM UNEVEN by Kevin Orato

Out here alone in the shifting specks of dark
Still as an undertaker, icy winds against my cheeks
Drawing heavily from a cigarette
That palliative for my troubled brain
As the rolling mist now at it’s thickest
Gathers as shadows at a deathbed



Steeling myself as if for some memorable heroic act
Twinning my fingers amidst moments of irresolution
Hoping for a redeeming miracle while transfixed with indecision
The momentum supposed to inspire suddenly evaporated!
And like one who’s had a disheartening premonition
Of a spirit-crushing defeat looming, I anticipate the worst
Waiting for some inevitable collapse…



I’ve wrestled with troubled dreams
Yet my illusions remain intact
And despite being close to tipping point often
I’m still a fool of my own sentiment
Seduced by vanity and as if thrilled by the regret
That follows failure; I risk my desperately delicate self
No severe change of heart from prior miserable experience



A rising panic of frustration grips me now
An incredible urge to cry …

Mwisho

I was looking at Nicholas Shiraku's drawing.............. and got inspired to write Mwisho. A story of a girl, who loved a man so much, she even got pregnant thinking that it would be a reason for him to stay with her but... he didn't!




Mapenzi nimeshiba
Nimeona hayana tiba
Nimejitia kwa shida
Nikikubebea mimba
Sasa nalia msiba
Uchungu unanilemea na moyo umenivunja

Ukaniumiza uliposema nimekuwekea mtego
Ukavibeba vyote vyako na kujionyesha mlango
Ukajiona mwiko, kunilisha maringo
Nimebaki na kilio nikilia mwisho!
Kweli pendo lina mwisho…
Mwisho!




© Namatsi Lukoye

Save the children

When my photography meets my poetry!!!!


Poetry meets photography
To dare you to look at the children of the land
Let us teach our children, what it really means to love
Innocent faces of the land
Small people whose hands hold our future
Small people who will one day make it right
Poetry meets photography
Eyes meet smiles of little adorable faces
Save our children!
Stop the evils against children!
They are our future

















© Namatsi Lukoye

I whispered a prayer for you

I whispered a prayer for you
Prayed that my prayer would stick in your heart
Prayed that this simple prayer would let you know
That forever and always you’ll have someone standing in the gap for you

I asked God to make you bold enough to trust yourself
Your dreams your wings and to make you fly
Prayed that you’d believe in the power of this prayer
Prayed that you’d be happy

Prayed that you’d remain true to your destiny and mostly true to yourself
Prayed that you’d be sure of your steps
Steps slow enough to taste the sweetness of each day
And fast enough to get you places
Prayed that you’d remain silly
To laugh, giggle, joke, play and risk things: it’s all part of life

Above all I prayed that you’d remain yourself
Simply because no matter how hard I’d search
I’d never find another you
Am not quite religious neither do I say prayers often
But just in case God exists, He will know that
I said this prayer for you


© Namatsi Lukoye

My experiences in Mombasa

The kind people I met on the streets
Who let me take their pictures
Their humility, humbled me!















the food....








© Namatsi Lukoye

The Witch of Eye!!!

The Evil Eye and witchcraft are different beasties. There is scare-mongering and misinformation to the effect that witches who practices witchcraft with the evil eye can curse people and cause anything to drop dead for no apparent reason at all. Do you believe or not?

Flying feathers, visions of the dead, ghosts, genies, fear and foment over witchcraft and the evil eye may not be lingering superstitions from the days before to a particular people. A lot of this has to do with the environment a child has been brought up with. Faith and religion are important aspects that affect ones belief in such things or not.

With that introduction, do I believe?

I wear nine scars on my body, four on the sides of my face, and five on my stomach; I learnt that when I was one year old; the one with the ‘evil eye’ cursed me. I heard that I was dying slowly and that the doctors couldn’t figure out what the problem was. So my parents and grandma visited the one with ‘cure’ and after a series of face sc…

The Genesis

Every time I tell friends about the bits and pieces of my life; they get fascinated and tell me that I live an interesting life. I have never considered it interesting myself; to me it is complicated, challenging and hard! Or maybe it is the hardships that make it interesting and beautiful. But life isn’t supposed to be easy- if it is then the meaning of it ceases.




I have heard about the story of my birth all so many times and from many people excluding my parents! I don’t know why I have never asked them; maybe it is the Africa nature of not questioning your elders etc. I should ask however. I will ask just to make this story more truthful. But not today, today I write what I have heard.

My birth certificate confirms that I was born on the 4th of June 1984, born of one Andayi and Lukoye. As the story goes my dad was in campus and my mum had just finished secondary school……….. bla bla bla… this is not their story so I will jump to where there is me.

I heard that when I was born my gr…

Fire and Water

There is something powerful about the elements of the earth
Something strong about the poles of the north and the south
East and west, a pull that rotates the earth
There is such a power in words, such a movement, such strength
There is something sacred about each encounter with other human beings
There is always something to learn from others
There is power in dreams… they give you direction
There is strength in me because of you, Hisia!
It is you who made me me, because you stood at my stage and moved the elements of the earth
I learnt from the start that haba na haba hujaza kibaba
Na kama maji twasonga
Kama moto twachoma



This is for my audience
There is no way better of saying thank you, believe you me I have searched
Amazing, you have stood by me (Hisia) you have let me grow as you
I have become a part of you as you have me
There is so much of you in me… and I hope that one day you will say I deserved the time
I remain your child for I know that without you, I am beat so I grow as …

Mama...

The only thing that I know I cannot achieve in life is one
That is trying to love you like you love me, mama
Trying to know and feel you like you do me, mama
Trying to put you first like you put me, mama
But I try

I know that life began with waking up to loving your face, mama
I know that your name; mama
Is close to God's in my lips and heart
And off all rights, mama
I know that the greatest is to be like you, a mother
It scares me, but I can't wait for my turn

Am always looking for perfect words to say thank you, mama
But whatever I come up with will never be enough
How do I start, mama... how do I stop, mama
How do I ever start... how do I ever stop
Mama


© Namatsi Lukoye

May is here

The cool winds of May are here
They are still ever calm
I have to go on, they whisper
The fresh breeze of May is here
The weather is tricky; it rains, it shines
I have to go on, it whispers

The flowers blossom, the vegetation is green
The driest of months are dead... the rains were born
After the fall, there will always be the rise
I have to go on, they all whisper
After all, May is here


© Namatsi Lukoye

How do you do that?

I really wanted to write you a poem
To write a poem about you
About what you do and how you make me feel
Your eyes when they are staring at me
Your smile when it is all mine
Your arms when they hold me tight
Your lips when they touch my skin
Your fingertips when they torture me
Your words and the way you calm me
Your ways of turning me weak and wild
How do you do that?

I really tried to write all this in a poem
Found it so hard to put it in words
Because................
You are the poem!
You are my poem!
You got me wishing for a little me who looks like you too!
That would put music into the poem!
How do you do that?

© Namatsi Lukoye

The cry of the Ocampo 1300

No retreat!!! No surrender
The Ocampo 1300 have to be remembered
Or these drumbeats will never stop

Ilete Baraka kwetu
Haki iwe ngao na mlinzi
Natukae na udugu
Amani na Uhuru Raha tupate na utawi



I feel war close by
Something ugly is close by
I can hear the chants from a distance
A cry for human blood from the horizon
I see…. Turmoil ahead…. A great hurricane coming our way
To blow up the dust we swept under the rag!
I can smell the disgusting stench of revenge like ammonia filling the air
Closer, closer, closer it is approaching
Bring us bring us justice!!! We cry


See the 363rd night of the year 2007
I was the demon in humanity
I saw blood painting the streets red and raw in pure and cold insanity
On the 364rd night of the year 2007
I slept with my mother because I was scared
I held her tight shaking like a leaf
We lay silent waiting for the sound of death

On the 365th night of the year 2007
While the world celebrated the birth of a new year
We cried
No fireworks but loud gunshots

Death! I am not afraid!!!!

I totally don't know what was the inspiration of this poem! Its a strange piece and no I don't want to die soon!


I am not afraid of death
But am afraid of living long and losing the meaning of living
Am not afraid of death
But am afraid of laying on a death bed wanting and waiting to die
The process scares me!
I am not afraid of death
But am afraid of passing on; with feelings unsaid; then wish for one more day to say them…
Which will only leave me wishing for one more days
I am not afraid of death
I am afraid of a mere feeling of existence, living without a purpose
I am afraid of getting lost in the air like I never existed!
Am afraid of dying poor but dying and in pain…
Am not afraid of death at all





© Namatsi Lukoye

This is how I know that we are the best of friends

To my dear sister Emma,
And my best friends Maggy, Annie, Gorret, Cynthia, Linda, Penny and Anne
As we celebrate our friendship.............
Here is one piece just for you.........................


I will not say that you are always there
I understand that you have commitments too
I understand distance and I understand costs


I will not say that you always understands me
I am a complicated artistic woman sometimes I don't even understand me
I know that I could be bitchy and a drama queen and the best thing is to just be silent


I will not say that you always cry when I cry
The story may not be that catchy
Tears may fail you or you are just hardcore like that
I will not say that I always take your advise
Well sometimes I think you are crazy or the advise is just unwise
And sometimes your advise lands me into trouble


But this is how I know that we are friends
You really stand in the GAP for me
And you pray for my strength
You check up on me and even when you don't have anything to…

Nairobi love!!!!

I don't know exactly what feelings I have for this month!!! I am just writing; actually so many things are going on in my life plus in my head and really I think I should take a break, I call myself a walking zombie!

I have been dreaming of jump out from this noisy life, laying naked and alone in my house, having some ice cream and maybe watching an animation warm movie. But that is not Nairobi life! Is it? We are so busy searching, for answers, for money, for love, for death, for lies and for the truth. We dived into the pits of man eat man society and live like animals: Survival for the fittest in my Nairobi!

Namatsi where do you come from?
I come from Nairobi,

Where I Still I see the sky light of the city
I see the loud scream of hardworking Kenyans in somewhat unity
I see the silenced voices of crime
I see a flame burning, sweat dripping, people toiling trying to make it in little time

I feel the flapping wings of eagles aiming high
I see feet stepping on others to get ahead wi…

What I see

They call me a pessimist, I don't argue I know I am a cynic

I used to believe in things, Now, well I have no reason to

I am not a critic either, there is not point pointing out issues the world agrees to cover

But I am a poet and a poet on a mission to speak out what I see




© Namatsi Lukoye

A thank you to life?

It is amazing how things work out!!!!

I don't have a lot... but everything i have now I once hoped for

I am not really friendly... but every encounter I make with another human, I make sacred

I am not religious... but I agree that without God, so many things just don't make sense

So all in all I am thankful

© Namatsi Lukoye

Whose mercy are we at?

I wrote this poem a while ago! It is about humaninty today; so hard to trust people. The poem has a mix of both swahili and English, as they came to me. I can say that it is a personal poem because I went through some of the things in the poem!

I used to believe that I could trust someone with my life
Till, I was laid on the operation table and the surgeon
Merely played around with the blades, the forceps and my life
Strapped me on the hardest bed and took me through the most pain I have ever felt in my life
Woke up in dire pain, feeling all alone and still with the same growth I went to remove
Wakumuamini ni nani? How can I trust anyone with my life
Twatafuta nini? Twatoshelezwa na nini?
I used to believe in love surpassing death into eternity
Now I know that true love doesn’t last long
I used to think that we could love our neighbours almost as much as love ourselves
Until the new world order came in!

I used to believe in education
Till I sat at home, jobless for years and years, fe…

Repent!!!!

I recently started interning for ART2be and happy to work with GALCK. I am having a time of my life surrounded by visual art at KUONA Trust; at the same time, I am editing some of the life stories of the gay community and I have to say they are quite moving. I read this touching story of a girl who had to go through so much when her family found out that she was gay; so I decided to be her for a moment and let my emotions out. She however noted that it was worse for guys... so expect another piece coming.........


Repent from your evil ways
The pastor shouted on the brightest Sunday
Turn away from your gayness
It makes you somehow, less
You were conceived by a man and a woman
No reason for that fake, soul tan
Repent! Repent!

It’s stupid how I live, like someone am not and they love me for it
Gay, they hate me for it, mad at me really pissed off
Previously really got me shedding tears, not I just say, go ahead hate have a nice time
Living in a pile of hate! Rolling like food in the int…

Mpendwa Rais

Raisi wangu mpendwa
Milihoi kashuka duniani
Wakaangamiza watakatifu wa kweli
Sasa kila mtu amegeuka shetani ni nguo ya malaika
Maajabu ya firauni sio?
Vipi tukakosa kama tunavyo vyote
Vipi tukafa njaa kaskazini ilhali kusini kwa ng’aa kibichi
Vipi tukawa maskini katika nchi tajiri
Vipi tukakosa maji katika mafuriko
Vipi wengine wakosa madawa ilhali wengine wachagua magari
Vipi kutasoma hadi kileo na kushindwa kuvuna jasho letu
Vipi Rais?

Langu ni kuwaza kama kweli wa tazama taarifa ya habari
Wachanana siasa tazama maisha ya panzi kama mimi
Itakuwa vipi ulale vyema sisi tukiishi kama majitu
Rais vipi maisha kawa magumu na shilingi kawa ngumu kupata
Wengine wakisinzia juu ya shilingi elfu tano kwa siku huko parliament
Vipi biashara yangu ndogo kashambuliwa kila siku
Ilhali wezi wa mali ya serikali wazama katika utajiri wa nchi nzima
Vipi kamiti kajaa na wezi wa vitu vidogo ilhali
Na wanao amri mauaji ya mamia ya watu katembea vifua mbele
Vipi ukawacha vijana wakae bila kazi… ilhali …

I can do this

Tell you what I am gonna do
Like an eagle soaring high
I am gonna spread my wings and fly
Let the doubts inspire me
Let my dreams elevate me
My work give me be the sign of a victory ahead
Grab it and rule the sky
Let every beat of the heart… turn to the tune and rhythm to achieve this greatness
No turning back! Never to see my prints again
Carry my history with me, have a story to tell
At the end of the day, at the bonfire
A story of once upon a time I was…
But now, I unify my spirit, soul, heart, mind and body
See all of me achieve whatever I was created to achieve
Yes, be a realist, it is still a cursed world
Full of sham and drudgery… desiderata
Tricks, competitions and disappointments
But I will not let them break me down
I was created to achieve this

© Namatsi Lukoye

I am wearing red today

It is valentines today
I am wearing red today
Not that I believe that it is the colour of love
If you ask me, I would say that indigo is the colour of love
Indigo...... a mixture of all colours because you know
When you love someone... you have to tolerate the whole package!

I am wearing red today
Because I want to stand out... let everyone yell at me
Happy Valentines!!!.......
I am wearing red today... because really
I am a red head
I don't care what people say or think

I am wearing red today
My hair is up in a pony tail
For my face to be seen!
I am wearing red today
For the boldness and sexiness it represents
I am looking so hot today
Am burning them while they stare! making their day I know
I am wearing red today because I look so fucking sexy!!!


© Namatsi Lukoye

Damn that's enough

This poem was inspired by an argument I had with my best-friend, Marygorret Mutheu on Tuesday 1st February. Later the same week, on Friday 4th of February, I had a discussion with some friends over dinner on the same topic.

One day I will find that love
I can readily get lost in
Love so true and worth defending
Which gives me a reason to face the day
One day I will be strong to let it consume me!


One day I will find that love
Worth living for, worth dying for, worth fighting for
Worth every breath, worth every strength
One day I will be strong enough to let it rock my world


One day I will find that love
That is as gentle as a dove
But that will still raise me above
That aims to make me see and yearn to achieve greatness
One day I will be strong enough to let it be


One day I will find that love
Worth spending my time and wealth
Worth securing my hopes and dreams in
One day I will be strong enough to trust in it


All the days of my life!!!

Is there a way I can love you right?
Then show me...
Show me so that I may stick to its path!

Is there a lesson to loving you so deep?
Then teach me...
Teach me the theory and practical as well, so that I may pass all its tests!

Is there a key to your heart really?
Then show me the map,
I promise you like a pirate... I will cross the most dangerous waters to rescue it!

Is there a beat to capture your heart?
Then point me in its direction...
I promise I will dance with every energy inside of me!

Is there a song, that defines your love
Let me know...
Let me know so that I may sing it all the days of my life!

See all I want to do, is love you right and love you deep
All I want to do is love you with every energy inside of me,
All the days of my life

© Namatsi Lukoye

February

Hasn't the month of January passed on so fast!!! Honestly the year started well with me... There was a time I wondered if there was really a tunnel that led to some light; 'light at the end of the tunnel!'

I am not religious but I believe in God! I have been lifted to see the stars... then put down gently to work towards getting there and staying there!

It is a love month as they say... Love, we humans have destroyed the meaning of love... Sad, but for the majority of us, it exists in poems, music, pictures, in paintings and drawings.... Love is out there I believe... You will know when you find it!

© Namatsi Lukoye

Sometimes I ask myself...

I love to think that I am an artist
That when I hold pen and paper I can draw something so deep and pure
That when I play with the paint on canvas, people get it
That when I stand in front of my audience... I am me, Namatsi Lukoye...
Granddaughter of one Surusuru Bhulolo
That when I touch the keys of my laptop I can write something that can move hearts


I love to think that I am an artist
A greater being on her way to realize her true potential
And what is this potential... and how do I measure it
Do I compare me with the what others like me have achieved?
Or do I compare me with what I know I can achieve?
Because when I look around I know
That there will always be those with less and those with more


I love to think that I am an artist
And Everything I do.... I want to do like an artist
I want to touch like a potter...
I want to speak like a poet...
I want to sing like an angel...
Dance feel the music and move in its beat


I want to live like an artist
Find my soul food and peace deep …

No sugar, no sugar coat

It had become in me
To love the dislocation of the truth
And find beauty in the unreal
Sometimes it is the way of the world, I thought
Well, I have lived an interesting life
Sometime I was blessed in the morning and cursed before the sun kissed the earth goodnight
Yeah I admit that it was worth:
I dipped my finger in bee hive long enough to feel and taste the bitter bite
Long enough to touch and taste the sensuous sweetest
No sugar, sugar coat

Then I met someone
Who took me so high and made me so wild
This someone whose hair was nowhere close to Samson
No sugar, no sugar coat
But he could make me weak and strong and at the same time made me feel safe
This someone whose pockets were not as deep as Bill Gates,
No sugar, no sugar coat what we had was more than enough

Oh yes, I met someone
Whose looks threw him on the opposite side of Imram Abbas ,
But became the apple of my eye
Nothing like Jonah he did not hide in the boat,
All he did was keep me wet while the waves rocked our boa…

The cruelty of the times (True story)

Friday 8th October 2010
I saw a woman today walking around town her eyes as red as my daily beetroot juice
I saw a woman today…. Her cheeks still bearing the marks of her dry tears
I saw this woman on University Way and I wanted to cry

She walked along the pavements of the city
In the scotching sun of the day, in only a bra and a small piece of cloth to cover her privates
Her face filled with so much pain…
Her feet protected by the dust of the plane
Her back tired from the weight of the baby
I saw this woman on University Way and I wanted to cry

Her hand did not hold a cup, she needed no shilling
Funny the distances people kept when she passed them
This part right here, I hated the people we had turned into
All because of the cruelty of the times!!!
I saw this woman on University Way and I wanted to cry


© Namatsi Lukoye

Tears of a helpless mama

Every single day I sit next to my baby’s bed
And I watch her slowly die
The doctor told me she may put on a fight but the disease is way too strong
The pain is prolonged and the situation for my little one is just wrong
His pain comes through me and all I do is cry
Am past the stage of, she needs not to see me cry
I think she need to know that I cry for her!
This is the only way I can help her!
Hoping that she knows if I could I would make each tear
Drown it all this mayhem in a storm
Take her from everything she sees and feels
To a place of our own form
The nature is so green
The waters are blue
Where stars sing songs
And the sun is smile at the moon
Pain gone and silence golden
But I am in hells prison, a terrible disease of helplessness
Watching her in pain
Nothing is right and this feeling is nothing but cruel


My baby turns to me… lifts her hand ignoring the pain from the drip
And smiles...
That smile… like a star going twinkle, is treasure to me in this bitter world
I caress h…

Dearest Friend

Dear sister you are like one of my ankles
Without which I am a cripple
You will cross the wildest ocean to save me from the sharks
You will sit by my side in a hospital bed
You will cry when the world casts me out
I know that you feel me in a way that word cannot describe
You are my forever friend

I know that we are so different,
But I couldn’t think of a better person to call when I am in need
Couldn’t think of a better person to tell me how my boobs look different now and then...
or to ask me, 'why are you smiling! are you in love?'
Laugh till we cry... or cry till we laugh
Couldn’t think of a better person to count my wrinkles
Start arguing about who looks older than who...
Blood it thicker than water… but this bond we share
Is like oil! Reduces friction, makes things glow and work better… and you know
Oil is thicker than blood
I hope the good Lord
allows us to be friends forever

© Namatsi Lukoy
e

Needless Pain

No pain no gain
But this train I am riding is way too long for a refrain
The rain I see from my window pane
Is too plain, filling me with needless pain
I don’t want to seem lame
But change seems to be an animal so tough to tame
In a world dying slowly
Time running quickly
Ties of lies
And the bonds of sins
Kweli mboni ichafukapo jicho huwa mashakani
I wonder is mine a dream or is my brain twisted in this mayhem

Sleepless nights and burnt out candle lights
Sights are now filled with fights and backbites
Horizons which gave birth to great sites are now no longer bright
Flight! Still I wonder if I do, will anything turn out alright.
They say the world is a beautiful place
Hush me because all I do is weep
I think nature is deep the world is too shallow and we need to be deep
So please… Give me some space... give me something that makes sense
And in the face of my aridity, rain me some peace
Because all these pretenses and broken dreams that give me a chase
Need to be placed at the alt…

January Poetry

As we turn on to a new year and aim to touch the stars... I felt one fall from the sky from all the pain that I feel needless came through me again and again. Enjoy my January Poetry and later Hisia Zangu Open Mic Poetry round 4.

© Namatsi Lukoye