Skip to main content


I hope you arrived well in that beautiful place
I hope that your pain is gone and your smile shines the warmth of my day
I miss you terribly, excruciatingly painfully

It still feels like yesterday
Even now that days, weeks, months and years have passed by so fast
Flowers have grown and died
But it feels like yesterday
When you and I played with the potter’s clay
When my skies were grey and your kisses wiped my tears away

So sad,
Its only yesterday when I watched you do your basketball play
And when I laughed at you because you got tooth decay!
Our sweet teeth I was next, yesterday,
When we got naughty and played the squeeze me play
Who thought it would end this early, and in this way
No more you, no more you, no more you and I

When you lay bleeding on the roundabout way
When the accident washed all our dreams away
Only yesterday, when Tony called me from the hospital bay
Lying that he was sick, only to go and find him with blood shot eyes waiting at the doorway
To my dismay,
You had passed away!

Yesterday, I wished that all this was a nightmare play!!!
So disgusting the pain was beating on my heart in the hardest of ways!
I felt sick and had to throw up everything away
And I screamed your name to let everyone see my pain
Scared that I would flood the floor with the tears that rolled
I got up and started running wailing with emptiness
The wind hailing in my ears laughing at those tears

Yesterday, I really thought my heart would tear away
When I saw you all grey, in the morgue
And the magic on your fingertips had flown away
The pain came to me again and again
I felt your pain! I heard your cry
I wanted to die with you,
Worse I couldn’t remember when I kissed you goodbye

When I wondered who would show me the way
When I vowed to save your spirit from running away
I didn’t think I would express this situation in an elaborate way
Thoughts of you just replay
And I wish God would perform some miracle play
Or this terrible nightmare will just fade away

Yesterday when your mum gave me your pillow and cologne
They still keep me sane
But your scent on the pillowcase is fading away
And I cannot save it! Real pain! I just cry,
It was just last night when I was in your arms, you held me and kept me warm,

Yesterday when that driver took you away from me!
And he hit you and ran!!! Damn him may he burn in hell!
And all those people who stood by watching as you lost your blood!
They stood and watched as you fought for your life! Fuck them! May they burn in hell!
I tell you baby, each night I pray

Father, I know that we all have sinned and fallen short of your glory,
I know that vengeance is yours;
All I pray for is a little atrocity, something to bring them equal pain! Rain them with pain like blows from Mike Tyson! And please make them strong like punches from Samson. Let me trust you for fairness! Make them ride in this train! Let them cry in this way!

Yes am still bitter! Four years am still bitter! It cost me a life! It cost me a friend!
And it cost me love! I still cannot rise above!
So I dare you all to
Make a difference, to be the difference
Lend a hand, offer some relief
Drive safe and save a life,
I ask you to look at the wells of my pain and imagine how it feels
Have a conscience, see the cause I raise and join me fight!
Because in this circle so called life, we all need to bend
Otherwise we are heading no where
Maybe if were different you would be around
It was only yesterday when I lost you, when I lost you
Joseph Ambani R.I.P

© Namatsi Lukoye

Popular posts from this blog

The loyalty Pledge (Kenya)

I pledge my loyalty to the President
and Nation of Kenya
My readiness and duty
to defend the flag of our Republic
My life, strength and service
in the task of nation building
In the living spirit embodied
in our National motto 'Harambee'

and perpetuated in the
Nyayo philosophy
of Peace, Love and Unity.

Thinking Moi’s dictatorship!
As children we had to make the pledge!
In our rags!
With no shoes on!
Bribed with milk (maziwa ya nyayo for staying so loyal)
We recited the words out loud
Religiously we recited at the school assembly
Attention we stood when recited or else we would face the wrath of the cane!

© Namatsi Lukoye


Moments... This is what the universe has decided to fill up my life with... Moments of what I could call love - and immense moments of pain -  as if to love the way I do is  a sin Now now Namatsi, please let go - the winds whisper as if they understand me Moments...
Pain... Trust me, this is a poem has escaped its prison It has broken chains, to see the light I never promised it I think my fingers have very big gaps -  when I think am holding so tight - it gets slippery and my stupid heart never reads the signs.... Dear Soul.... please let me not hold anything back when we talk about it Pain...
Dreams... Tell me - how do you love someone who is not kind to the soul? Why this person? what did they do to make you decide to hurt me like so? I wish I was casual with love as everyone else is. I have fought nations to hold you in my arms - all you did was smile and stab my back Tell me - why did you ever come back? My dear lovely heart - Break them all - leave nothing standing Dreams...

Angels Landing - for broken hearts

Poems like these come to me when I think about you Your eyes – they come when they meet mine Your lips – I feel  them when they curve in a smile  – for when they meet mine – I swear I travel to another planet - I don't know how to lie - trust this poem
Poems like are real – they are honest about the countless times you float my mind,  so I capture moments and freeze them in words - its just a gift you are the inspiration
As passionate as my poetry is – Poems like these hope that you have fire strong enough to hold them inside
Poems like these have been used They have had fights with false gods and demons too How you go read all I write for you and still treat them like its nothing! Don't you know that poems like these are fishhooked from the depths of my soul! Poems like these still come to me - they are nothing but angels landing

© Namatsi Lukoye