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Sorrow deep to the bone

I do not know which is more painful
To love and to lose
To love and not be loved back
Or not be a man anymore
He said

Silenced by his tone and the weight of his words I gave him my ear

I am one among few who dare tell such a story
One of many who face blows day in day out
Blows on my head, blows on back, kicks on my legs
You will not believe but she even held a knife
Right to my balls!
Screaming and asking, Who is the man?... Who is the man?
She lifted me up and threw me on the ground, outside
For all to see this disgusting fight

Then,

She laughed … celebrating her victory
Amongst cheers from the female neighbors
Men around embarrassed on my behalf
Clicking and disgusted, shaking their heads in disbelief
And they asked

Huyu ni mwanaume kweli?
They asked if I was a man!

They say that love is blind… all this while I was blinded
I don’t know why I stayed!
Don’t ask me why I stayed…
I accepted each apology, if she apologized
Cover up the bruises, until she took the fight outside!
I did not mind, I unpacked and stayed, until she took the fight outside!
Lied to all, until she took the fight outside!
Ignored all, until she took the fight outside!

I was chained connected in some vodooliscious way ,
Until I realized that, no way her heart was mine

Men should not cry like this… I know
But since she had taken that title
I had a hard time explaining that to my stupid brain, weeping heart, dying spirit and burnt soul

I loved her still, until I realized that
Being a man no more, is sorrow deep to the bone

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My life, strength and service
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In the living spirit embodied
in our National motto 'Harambee'

and perpetuated in the
Nyayo philosophy
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In our rags!
With no shoes on!
Bribed with milk (maziwa ya nyayo for staying so loyal)
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Moments... This is what the universe has decided to fill up my life with... Moments of what I could call love - and immense moments of pain -  as if to love the way I do is  a sin Now now Namatsi, please let go - the winds whisper as if they understand me Moments...
Pain... Trust me, this is a poem has escaped its prison It has broken chains, to see the light I never promised it I think my fingers have very big gaps -  when I think am holding so tight - it gets slippery and my stupid heart never reads the signs.... Dear Soul.... please let me not hold anything back when we talk about it Pain...
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Art is the purest expression of life! It’s so vast and is always evolving!
For me it’s about being true to myself despite other people’s opinions and thoughts of how my life should be lived.  Art comes so honestly and purely, I don’t doubt its intentions. It makes me believe in my uniqueness and self-expression, and that we all should always strive to be the best version on ourselves. I mean, we only have one life to live, so we should live it to the fullest.       My art is a mix of many genres of music that have inspired me throughout my not so long existence.  With music, I feel that I can communicate more directly and precisely no matter the language as opposed to just having a conversation.  As a rapper, cyphers have given me the …