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The girl next door

I have been sick for a while now
She makes me feel like an old shoe
Tired is how I feel
I can no longer hide it
All my actions are now giving me away
Revealing this screaming aching feeling
The way I look at her
Hold her in my arms
Stroke her hair
Rub her back
Give myself away so easily
When I see her smile
I am a different woman!

So how do I change things?
With her homophobic nature
To her I am nothing else but a friend
This girl next door

I am afraid
I am confused
And mostly I don’t know what to do
Or what I would say
Sometimes words came up my throat so fast
So bad they made me sick, I feel like throwing them up
But when I think about our friendship
I zip it and accept the pain
It feels like walking on fragments of broken glass
I am afraid of breaking her heart so I let her tear mine
This girl next door

How do I go on like this?
How do I explain the fact that in this whole wide world
She is all that I need
So how do I convince her that I can be all that she wants?
This girl next door
Makes me cry even just for a while
Says she can’t understand men
That every time she is falling in love she is saying goodbye
She cries on my shoulder
And I cry for her when I am crying with her
Each time and every time I kiss my shirt at night just to feel her dried tears
I am always there like her shadow
How do I let her know that what she is looking for is always by her side?
How do I tell her that my happiest days are spent next to her?
How do I tell her that sometimes the shadows cry too?
How do I explain to all who know us that I am crazy about her?
This girl next door

This time I let tears flow freely for her as I walked away
I knew that I was losing my charm, maybe
No more her and me
I hope she finds what she was looking for
This girl next door

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The loyalty Pledge (Kenya)

I pledge my loyalty to the President
and Nation of Kenya
My readiness and duty
to defend the flag of our Republic
My life, strength and service
in the task of nation building
In the living spirit embodied
in our National motto 'Harambee'

and perpetuated in the
Nyayo philosophy
of Peace, Love and Unity.

Thinking Moi’s dictatorship!
As children we had to make the pledge!
In our rags!
With no shoes on!
Bribed with milk (maziwa ya nyayo for staying so loyal)
We recited the words out loud
Religiously we recited at the school assembly
Attention we stood when recited or else we would face the wrath of the cane!

© Namatsi Lukoye


Moments... This is what the universe has decided to fill up my life with... Moments of what I could call love - and immense moments of pain -  as if to love the way I do is  a sin Now now Namatsi, please let go - the winds whisper as if they understand me Moments...
Pain... Trust me, this is a poem has escaped its prison It has broken chains, to see the light I never promised it I think my fingers have very big gaps -  when I think am holding so tight - it gets slippery and my stupid heart never reads the signs.... Dear Soul.... please let me not hold anything back when we talk about it Pain...
Dreams... Tell me - how do you love someone who is not kind to the soul? Why this person? what did they do to make you decide to hurt me like so? I wish I was casual with love as everyone else is. I have fought nations to hold you in my arms - all you did was smile and stab my back Tell me - why did you ever come back? My dear lovely heart - Break them all - leave nothing standing Dreams...

Angels Landing - for broken hearts

Poems like these come to me when I think about you Your eyes – they come when they meet mine Your lips – I feel  them when they curve in a smile  – for when they meet mine – I swear I travel to another planet - I don't know how to lie - trust this poem
Poems like are real – they are honest about the countless times you float my mind,  so I capture moments and freeze them in words - its just a gift you are the inspiration
As passionate as my poetry is – Poems like these hope that you have fire strong enough to hold them inside
Poems like these have been used They have had fights with false gods and demons too How you go read all I write for you and still treat them like its nothing! Don't you know that poems like these are fishhooked from the depths of my soul! Poems like these still come to me - they are nothing but angels landing

© Namatsi Lukoye