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Paper Love (the reply)

You know, I know, we know
So you say,
That if I can't love you now
You dont want me loving you later
When your later is much greater...
It only proves that I love the paper! more Paper!

So what am I to do when the paper love is so strong
Sit around and wait for you to get your own
I got to eat now, you know
Paper love is too strong it got all of us on the street looking
We are all chasing it so what is wrong with my way?
I dont steal, I dont kill, I dont step on anyone
I just smile.... and smile well
Loving you is the definition of love is blind
And you know the world today is blind to two things love and paper!
Somehow we blindly flow into paper loving

You say,
If I love you later
It only proves that I love the paper
But dont we all love this blander
You call me a gold-digger
call yourself a hustler
Haha! Player please! We are in the same game
Only a different league and I am the best striker in my team
Money chasing! Money loving! Money getting
The difference between you and me…

Red Head

You ask me why I choose to look how I look
Then bring me shame at my own game
Making me believe that I was cursed and glad to the thought that you drive me insane
Terrifying and shaking my picture out of its frame
You are so lame! Don’t you have any shame?
Really who else is to blame?
When words sharper than swords disconnect my link of hope
But yes! The walls have fallen
And this is solemn
Yeah for the red heads

Let us pretend that I really cared what you think or say
About what I do, how I do it and what I don’t
That really I didn’t give you an itch each time I was present
What if I was just like you?
Would the sun feel better on my face?
Or would the wind feel better on my skins surface?
It is really funny how you are keen to lace, underneath
Invade my space and stick to my case
Isn’t there anything else in the world to chase?
What is she wearing?
Where is she from?
Are those bones sticking out?
Skinny bitch she doesn’t eat right!
Look at how she walks!
You pose like a king cobra i…

Dear November 2010

I just have to say this, you have been the confusion of my life
the great turn around,
the solidification of my dreams
the liquidification of my weaknesses
the nullification of my fears
the quantification of my hope
Yes, you are the reason behind the modification of myself and forever I will live to remember you



Dear November with tears in my eyes
you have given me wings and let me touch the stars
you have cut my legs dropped me down to taste the dust
you have made me cry on stage, in a matatu, cyber, street, classroom
you have made me laugh till I cried
you have painted all kind of colors in my life
what do I say
you have brought me friends, made me see what we call love and support
you have brought me shame, made me turn and grind my teeth
yes, you have made me stronger and weaker and forever I will remember



Dear November I had to write this down
That when Adam wrote that one day my dreams will touch the sky I cried
That when Eve told me am lazy I cried too
That when Adam wrote some…

Achieve

Tell you what I am gonna do
Like an eagle soaring high
I am gonna spread my wings and fly
Let the doubts inspire me
Let my dreams elevate me
My work give me be the sign of a victory ahead
Grab it and rule the sky
And every beat of the heart… turn to the tune and rhythm to achieve this greatness
No turning back! Never to see my prints again
Carry my history with me, have a story to tell
At the end of the day, at the bonfire
A story of once upon a time I was…
But now, I unify my spirit, soul, heart, mind and body
See all of me achieve whatever I was created to achieve
Yes, be a realist, it is still a cursed world
In this world full of sham and drudgery
Tricks, competitions and disappointments
But I will not let them break me down


© Namatsi Lukoye

Heri ni lie leo

Nimeona niwache kucheza na moto
Nitaangamia bure kwa joto
Kuinama mvunguni nikitamani chako
Nikujuchosha bure tako
Nimeona ni heri niinuke nigeuke nishike njia kutafuta change
Na basi kama siku hazigandi
Basi heri ni lie leo badala ya kesho kwani kesho
Langu laja

Chakuajabisha ni kwamba
Wataka kunivuta kwa kamba
Wajiona simba waniona mwiba
Nguvu zangu wazipima hujui nadunga!
Wataka niishi kama mmbwa!
Nikufuate huku na kule! Sitaweza! Nimechoka!
Ndio maana nasema heri nilie leo badala ya kesho
Kwani kesho langu laja

Hujatambua dunia ni duara
Aliyejuu mac Munga hushuka na aliye chini kapanda
Leo kwangu kesho kwako ushaskia hayo
Basi wacha niviringwe kwa shida
Machozi ya dondoke! Tsekha bhulamu bhwange
Sema mchana usiku kwa giza choma
Maliza risasi kwa bunduki! Fyatua! Fyatua!
Kesho langu laja!
Kesho nitang’aa utahitaji madigaga kuniangalia


© Namatsi Lukoye

The cost of a "HI"

He said hi
And I ignored it
I hastened my walk
He shouted hi again as if it was his right
“Didn’t you just hear what I said,” he asked
“I said hi,”
“hi” I said
“unaringa, na wewe hata si msupuu!”(full of pride and you are not even beautiful!)
I walked on………… he followed
Now scared, I stood and asked! What the hell do you want?
He just stood there with an evil grin, “I said hi, naukaniringia!” he said
And my heart went crazy… beating as if she wanted to run away
I should have paid attention
Then my legs failed me at a time I needed them the most
It all happened all at once… within a blink of an eye I was on the ground
And my ears were all attentive to the slightest of movement
Every movement was five times louder like the sound of a gun going blast
Me landing on the ground, the zipper opening, the scratches I put on his skin, my screams
I even heard my teardrops landing on earth
He tore my panties like they were pages of an exercise book
Pushed him inside me again… and again…
Disgust…

The Mic

When I hold the mic

Everything feels so right

When I hold them the mic

I feel like I somehow know Hedwig Gorski

And I feel her so deep, I hold the mic

And I want to get lost in this deepness, want to get high from her dopeness

Then I let this performance art elevate me to heights only the eagles envy

She feels my words; takes them all in and turns them into a musical score

She gives me a space in which to place my words and everything feels so right

She makes them louder, my voice deeper and passes them on to my audience

When I hold the mic

I see the space between the words, the pauses, the rhymes, the punch lines

Most importantly I see the message

Eyes around but when I hold the mic,

It’s just me and the mic
© Namatsi Lukoye

I AM

I AM

Namatsi:
I am 50 – 50
I am kinky, I am witty
I am naughty, I am holy
I am the sun that burns
I am the moon that cools
Evil and good, I am Ying and Yang
A mark of perfection
An explosion of life
A theater of words
I am the blade of the knife
I am the heart of a lion
I am the eyes of an eagle
I am fire and ‘Matsi’ intertwined
So when the two make love I am their great orgasm
But when they clash, I am crushed
So I am a leach, a bitch, a terrible itch
I am the breeze that makes the nipples erect
I am the leg that takes the first step
An angle with the charm of a devil
A star rising to kiss an avatar
I am a work in progress, no stress
I leave Alice to wonder, God bless

Luki:
I am the breath that you cannot breathe and still
I am the life that you cannot take or steal
I am the skill, the potential, I am the art
I am the hip hop, the poem and in music I am a part
I am the fire that burns; I am the earth that you stand on
The water that runs, I am the air that you long for
I am the pla…

Yesterday

Baby,
I hope you arrived well in that beautiful place
I hope that your pain is gone and your smile shines the warmth of my day
I miss you terribly, excruciatingly painfully

It still feels like yesterday
Even now that days, weeks, months and years have passed by so fast
Flowers have grown and died
But it feels like yesterday
When you and I played with the potter’s clay
When my skies were grey and your kisses wiped my tears away

So sad,
Its only yesterday when I watched you do your basketball play
And when I laughed at you because you got tooth decay!
Our sweet teeth I was next, yesterday,
When we got naughty and played the squeeze me play
Who thought it would end this early, and in this way
No more you, no more you, no more you and I

Yesterday
When you lay bleeding on the roundabout way
When the accident washed all our dreams away
Only yesterday, when Tony called me from the hospital bay
Lying that he was sick, only to go and find him with blood shot eyes waiting at the doorway
To m…

Do me like Nancy did!

Do me like Nancy did!
Amid the noise and haste of the day
Hold me so tender so gentle as if I was flimsy
As if I was a new born baby
Look into my eyes and don’t be afraid to be silly
Let go be kinky and witty
Do me like Nancy did!

Do me like Nancy did
Let’s get lost in the sickest thoughts of our lusts
Explore! Explore! Explore like Sir John Hawkins
Mine some gold in the wells on my secrets
And surrender to the truthfulness of our uniqueness
Do me like Nancy did!

Do me like Nancy did
Not scared but ever bold and hard just like Rihanna
Dance with me like we did at Harvana
As the music fell on our ears like manna
Rock! Rock! Rock with me like the waves of the fresh water Lake Victoria
Do me like Nancy did!

Do me like Nancy did
Give me the world in its artistic form
As we bask in our morning after custom
Let’s create! Let us innovate! Oh let us form art!
With pen and paper
With clay and water
With lens and shutter
Let us play with the curves and faults on our body structure
Do me just…

TGW!!!! Introducing Luki

And the sins of the fathers
Shall rest upon the heads of the sons!

Luki:
Times gone bad
Leaving my heart grieved my soul crashed and my spirit sad
So bad is now the destination of my time
Time which I am no longer the station
Which is no longer really mine?

Namatsi:
Yes things gone wrong
Emotional pain prolonged
Truth is now secret… swept under the rag
As the hate and lies nag, really
Left, right, center, front, back and center
Whatever happened to the true messenger?

Luki:
Times gone wild, untamed, undomesticated
Really out of its mind, as it waits for no man
For me it hasn’t been kind
Stained with hate and dirtied with lies
Times gone dark granting blindness to ma eyes

Namatsi:
Nyakati za utata
Usawa wa ubaya
Uhaba wa mioyo safi
Majitu tumegeuka
Misitu tumegeuza kwetu
Yetu nikutoridhika na chochote kile
Things going wrong!!!

Luki:
Yes when well we know
Maybe time will tell even fate and destiny submit to time as well
If time is money then it has answered our poverty
Because ti…

The Cruelty of the Times

Friday 8th October
I saw a woman today walking around town her eyes as red as my daily beetroot juice
I saw a woman today…. Her cheeks still bearing the marks of her dry tears
I saw this woman on University Way and I wanted to cry

She walked along the pavements of the city
In the scotching sun of the day, in only a bra and a small piece of cloth to cover her privates
Her face filled with so much pain…
Her feet protected by the dust of the plane
Her back tired from the weight of the baby
I saw this woman on University Way and I wanted to cry

Her hand did not hold a cup, she needed no shilling
Funny the distances people kept when she passed them
This part right here, I hated the people we had turned into
All because of the cruelty of the times!!!
I saw this woman on University Way and I wanted to cry

The Voice of the MONSTER

The world is a junkie to foolish drama now
Making everyone give a blind eye to this trauma now
Me!! Whirling round like a hurricane!!
How dare you forget me?

No meditation to what is happening to hers
Breasts and nipples!
Seducing the enemy, perhaps an enemy too close
So I ask, how dare you play with me like that?

I am somewhere hidden in a lump
Like the Greek soldiers in the Trojan horse
When the Trojans least expect it, but from their own mistakes
So I ask, how dare you accuse me?

I am a warrior... like the great Achilles
I have the power to make you cry for me
Waste for me... rebuke me in The Almighty's name
Damn I can make you die for me!
So who would dare face me!!

Yes I admit I have seen great warriors face me
Put on a great fight and face me
The Davids, the Paris, The Mau Maus
I just wonder how many more are ready
Till then I ask
Who is brave enough to say my name?

50 - 50

50-50 that suits me right!
I am 50% art and 50% fashion
A unique and powerful combination of an artistic and fashionistic self presentation
50 Art and 50 Fashion
When the two meet and make love
I glow in their great orgasm
But when the two titans meet and clash
Then I face the thrush
And like blood spill in an episode of Spartacus
I am all over stinking like a dead carcass
50 -50
Am sure that Picasso and McQueen turn laughing in their graves
I wake up with Syvia Owori inspiration to Namatsi by Namatsi
Then end my days with Chelenge's carving sensation to lusting for poetry
50 - 50
I meet other fashionistas and art carvers like me
and their eyes shutter with disbelief
starring at a walking doodle, unfinished sculpture in gladiator heels
A walking billboard of duracoat paint
50 - 50
none prospering, none overpowering
One side believes I am a star
The other just paints them out in words
One side is straight... imara kama simba
The other.... is cheeky.. I call it Dennis the menace
50 …

Danger!!!

I thought of all the dangerous things in life
The things that stab the soul hard and painful and make it cry
How dangerous it is to stop living when you are still alive
How dangerous it is to feel all alone even when surrounded by all those who care
I thought of all the pain danger brought
And of all the tears danger’s pain stole
How dangerous it is to pile up wrongs like the bricks of a pyramid in our hearts
Because unlike pyramids the heart being a softie
Hardens and sooner than later explodes to fragments so small and hard to glue together
I thought of how dangerous it is to cry inwardly
Because what scars the spirit are the secret tears that can never be wiped
How dangerous it is to say something and wishing you hadn’t and yet again
Saying nothing and wishing you had!
I thought of how dangerous it was to say “no” when you mean “yes”
And yet again saying “yes” when you mean “no”
How dangerous it is to sacrifice everything for a diamond that’s not worth
And for being so secure with…

KIMANI

Is it true that we long forgot that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder?
That we encouraged the birth of falseness?
We make fake, give fake and show fake all for falseness sake!
That what we love most is to dislocate the truth
Is it true?

Then love me Kimani!! Love me deep; love me right just the way I am, so I can answer these questions!

Is it true that love is one of the most important things in life?
Yet the kind of love that lasts longest is love that is blind?
But isn’t it true that when you are too blind to see then you could be living a lie?
Is it true?

Then teach me Kimani!! Light it deep; light it right so I can answer these questions!


Is true that those who go looking for love never find it?
When we all know that true love doesn’t last long?
Why do we all wish we found it knowing that it will soon go away?
Is it true?

Then listen to me Kimani!! Listen to the depth of my words so I can answer these questions!


Is it true that the most pain comes when a loved one has le…

UP COMING EVENT

EXPRESSION TIME

DATE: 19th September 2010

TIME: 3.00pm to 6.00pm

PLACE: Bowling Green next to City Park

INFORMATION:

So many are the times that we put our expression on paper and keep them all to ourselves or a few friends around. Welcome to expression time and listen to stories caught between heart and paper!

Various Guests... will keep you smiling!!!
DJ richie to keep the mood right
Nyama choma and alcohol at affordable prices
And you to be entertained

Jah Bless

This part of the world I wish you could see with me

Over the years I have lived
In all the ways I have acquired knowledge
Knowing the difference between reality and fantasy
Still, nothing fascinates me like this part of the world
That I see when I close my eyes, in my own little bud
I stare at beauty beyond belief! What a sight?
In all ways I wish you could see what I see
Let me describe… hoping that my words will paint the picture

I see the world in so many colors
Almost like a doodle that I did when I was still in kindergarten
In the eyes of the small girl I was that was beautiful
Why is everything so true when we are children?
There is no better joy to see it all coming back to me
Back to those beautiful days
The sun so beautiful, not harsh, so gentle
The water pure, so free,
The earth so green, so enchanting
The breeze so fresh
Those were the days
I would take a deep breath and never want to let it out
This is the world I wish you could see with me

I see families out playing with each other
Dad and mum playing tag with the kids

Confusionalism

Such a mixture
A big confusion to any reader
Like a doodle done by a stupid little kid
Colored and painted where need not to be
Such a feeling day in and night
A mixture of emotions deep to the bone
So,
Thinking… how do I ignore?
Trapped… in between two worlds
Am I sleeping or am I awake
Or could it be that I am dead?

Sorrow deep to the bone

I do not know which is more painful
To love and to lose
To love and not be loved back
Or not be a man anymore
He said

Silenced by his tone and the weight of his words I gave him my ear

I am one among few who dare tell such a story
One of many who face blows day in day out
Blows on my head, blows on back, kicks on my legs
You will not believe but she even held a knife
Right to my balls!
Screaming and asking, Who is the man?... Who is the man?
She lifted me up and threw me on the ground, outside
For all to see this disgusting fight

Then,

She laughed … celebrating her victory
Amongst cheers from the female neighbors
Men around embarrassed on my behalf
Clicking and disgusted, shaking their heads in disbelief
And they asked

Huyu ni mwanaume kweli?
They asked if I was a man!

They say that love is blind… all this while I was blinded
I don’t know why I stayed!
Don’t ask me why I stayed…
I accepted each apology, if she apologized
Cover up the bruises, until she took the fight outside!
I …

We, so much like cockroaches!

Scratching more so deeply when the lights are out
Other beings when the sun is long gone
No we hide, wear masks during the day
It is the only way to get ahead with something, with someone

We, hiding in the dark only watching the bold ones take their efforts to the lighter zones
Yes waiting, knowing that if they come back unharmed
Then they are the heroes and heroines

We, so much like cockroaches
Know that the best things in life happen all at once,
They fall down like a bread crumbs under the shadow of the table
And since tomorrow may not come… we race for it
At that frozen fastest second, our near death experience
We forget that we are the almost crashed cockroach


We, so much like cockroaches
See us break into a doodle dance and circling when they spray some motin doom
Oh yes it’s our doom we know
The world indeed is a cycle and everything in it goes round in circles
It is no place for squares and you will need more than enough if you have 3 corners
We like cockroaches should know …

Dearest Friend...... A dedication to Molly

This letter was written on April 11, 2009 at 9:17pm

Dearest friend,

I hope that you have arrived well and that you are feeling better now. The last time I saw you, the last time I touched you... those last few minutes I had tears in my eyes, no I actually cried out loud. The universe is really cruel because that day the sun was so bright, I was so close but there was nothing I could do.

The last time we were together dearest friend I experienced two totally different feelings. I thought I should let you know.

Regret. I still feel that there was something I could have done. He put you to rest in a terrible way, I hate him for that. I am so sorry that I let you down buddy, more so sorry that it took me, us ages to realize that something was wrong. And Sorry again because maybe it seemed that I did not care.

Pain. Excruciating pain deep inside my heart. Every minute of every hour that passed on... me staring you helpless: My heart was weeping for you baby until you turned still, very s…

Just before I lose the will to T-R-Y

It is times like these that I wish you would whisper
Right into my ear so no one else would hear
Show me the way; give me some sign in some way
Perform a miracle, work in me work on me
Just before I lose the will to t-r-y

It is times like these he said, when I want you to massage my ego
Give me a bath, soak with me, listen and watch my eagles
Because someday for you they will touch the sky
Perform a miracle, work in me work on me
Just before I lose the will to t-r-y

It is times like these my love she said, when I want you to just sit with me
Say nothing baby, rub my back give me a massage
Today we chill just you and me as we listen and talk
Tonight I am attentive, inspire me challenge me
Perform a miracle, work in me work on me
Just before I lose the will to t-r-y

It is times like these she prayed, when I wished that someone would hear me
Sit with me find out what is wrong and direct me to the right direction
Pat my back and tell me that you are proud of me
Believe in me
Perform a mir…

Una nguvu jamani

Una nguvu jamani
Uwezo usiofahamika
Kunivuta kabisa
Kunishtua ajabu
Kunifanya wazimu

Unanguvu jamani
Wanibeba wanibembeleza
Na hata waniandalia meza!
Wa uta majivuno nani angeweza?

Unanguvu jamani
Nimeona nizielezee
Natamani niwewako milele
Niwe mfungwa wa mapenzi wako wee
Nizihisi nguvu hizo
Nguvu za ajabu
Unanguvu jamani

The Sound of my silence!!!

If my silence could express itself to you
Then it would whisper some sort of break through
Saying...
Death to the times of sitting at the window and trying to revive a dead shadow
Death to the hopes and dreams of our better tomorrow
Death to our kind of love

The sound of silence would cry
Mapenzi ya kweli kama ya maji mazuri ya ziwa la mesopotamia ni hadithi tu
Oungo mkubwa!
Nimekubali mwiba kuishi moyoni
Nikama nimetumbukizwa katika dibwi la simanzi
Dibwi la giza totoro... njia ndefu isiyo na mwisho,
Nimechoka! Nimechoka na kutamani

Ulichonifunza mwalimu siku zile za jadi;
Sikuzile zetu
Mbona wewe mwenyewe kasahau?
The sound of my silence would ask you
Je ni kweli kuwa moyo wako ulitekwa nyara na kuekewa dawa
Mbona naona ni kama mimi na wewe tunaishi katika ndoto mbaya
Ndoto inayonifanya ni tiririkwe na machozi bila haya
Inayonifanya ni hisi uchungu ule ule mbaya kama wa mama kupoteza mwana
Nimeona niwache kung’oja

Haifai! For the broken curve to be a comfort
Kwa mtu yeyote kuloa …

The power of the sun

How I wish that you would see your reflection in my eyes
And the image my brain forms of you
Then probably you would understand why I call you my magic light
Or why I love you with the power of the sun
Your smiles, gentle touch heal whatever burden is on the way
Since you truly exist, I believe in something
Miracles happen
God exists
You have magic at your finger tips
And that I love you with the power of the sun

The girl next door

I have been sick for a while now
She makes me feel like an old shoe
Tired is how I feel
I can no longer hide it
All my actions are now giving me away
Revealing this screaming aching feeling
The way I look at her
Hold her in my arms
Stroke her hair
Rub her back
Give myself away so easily
When I see her smile
I am a different woman!

So how do I change things?
With her homophobic nature
To her I am nothing else but a friend
This girl next door

I am afraid
I am confused
And mostly I don’t know what to do
Or what I would say
Sometimes words came up my throat so fast
So bad they made me sick, I feel like throwing them up
But when I think about our friendship
I zip it and accept the pain
It feels like walking on fragments of broken glass
I am afraid of breaking her heart so I let her tear mine
This girl next door

How do I go on like this?
How do I explain the fact that in this whole wide world
She is all that I need
So how do I convince her that I can be all that she wants?
This girl n…

What is it with nights?

A spectacular shooting star just flew right past me
I must be lucky I said  Thinking!
What is it with nights? As beautiful and peaceful as they appear What is it that makes them all unique? What is it that makes them the comforter of sorrows and the wiper of tears? But then again what is it with darkness that brings loneliness and sadness to others?
So I lay my head to sleep Sweating and scared woken up by a nightmare! In a world full of people I felt all alone Haunted and afraid I hid in the blankets! Thinking! What is it with nights? That makes them all unique As scary and evil as they sometimes come Still witness the sweetest lovemaking sessions and sometimes see the wildest celebrations So what is it with nights?

loving him wrong

She just mentioned his name
and my mouth formed a smile
I heard his voice from the corridor
and my heart skipped a beat
As his cologne diffused into the air

I thought I heard the fugees sing
'killing me softly'
I was sure I was falling... falling...
footsteps
stops.. and halos.. as he greeted everyone in the hall way
footsteps again
Oh this man
I think I am in love



So I pretend to be thoroughly busy
Concentrate so hard on the screen and keyboard
Take a paper and scribble this and that
Here and there
Telling myself…. Wait…. Breath….. Breath 

He gets to my work station
Lifts his eyebrow
Again am falling falling and falling into an unknown
He reach’s for my cheeks and gently leaves a kiss
on the right
the left and the right again

And I foolishly think the right side must be lucky
Professionally he says
Don’t forget our business lunch today
I smile………. I nod
Usual time usual place I say
I smile and return to my busy look
All the while I know that I love him wrong


It is only yesterday

It is only yesterday
when you and I played with the potter's clay
only yesterday
when my skies were grey and your kisses wiped my tears away
only yesterday

when we thought we'd go together to New York Bay
It is only yesterday
when we thought we will go on all the way


It is only yesterday
when I sat and watched you do your basketball play
only yesterday
when I laughed at you when you got tooth decay
only yesterday
when we played together the squeeze me play
oh only yesterday

It is only yesterday
when the you drove through the roundabout way

only yesterday
when the accident washed all our dreams away
only yesterday
when I wished that all this was a nightmare play
only yesterday
when I slowly watched you waste away


It is only yesterday
when a phone call said you had passed way
ohh it is only yesterday
when I thought my heart would tear away
only yesterday
when I wondered who would show me the way
only yesterday
when I didn't think I would say this in an elaborate way


It is only yesterday
w…