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Showing posts from 2009

The year that was

So many times this dying year
I have been hard on myself
endured so many things
and thought that probably I deserved it
for one reason or another


So many times this dying year
I have lived like a tree
just being there
just being seen

So many times this dying year
I have lived life for others
Tried my best to give
to be
to impress
to this and to that
forgotten to enjoy being me
forgotten that no one can be me better than me

So many times this dying year
so many

So many times in the years
dead and gone before
I thought resolutions was a thing of the loser
who had nothing better to do
than draft plans that they know they will not do
But this dying year was different
I came to see my goals and achievements met
and i came to understand the importance of setting goals

So many times this dying year I have been blessed
blessed enough to write this
and to know that someone somewhere will be reading it

So on the second last day of this dying year
I learnt something
something I wish I did a…

The world is so full of sadness

The world is so full of sadness
This I saw from his dark brown eyes
welling up with tears
looking up to me
saying
silently
'help me, Please'
This eyes of this little boy
in hospital
dying from a disease
that was killing him slowly and yet with so much pain

The world is so full of sadness
This I saw from her brown eyes
welling up with tears
looking straight at me
as if she wanted to teach me something
saying
I had I known earlier,
I would have done something about
this madness and craziness
I encouraged in my younger yeears
has led to all this destruction
of nature and mankind


The world is so full of sadness
I saw this in the pictures he took
the pictures of people who know not of peace
the pictures oh the pictures
that filled my eyes with tears
blazed houses
lost kids
dead loved ones
smashed hearts
scared faces
butchered limbs
and crying fathers and mothers
saying
'why oh why'

This world is so full of sadness
I read this in his speech
in the lies he told
and the false h…

I am this pathetic

Give me a cup of peace
and maybe then,
I will feel better
give me a plate of sanity
am sure that then,
things will go well

because right now
am in a jungle of diseases
distresses and infections
from the head to the toe
I am rotting
I am stinking
it is disheartening because
ahead lies no hope

kelele imezizidi
ubaya umeenea
ninaoza
nimeoza
kwa kasi
walisema 'mwenda pole hajikwai'
lakini sasa
tunajua 'mwenda pole aliaga'
nikusukuma
nikumfinya
nikumwangamiza
nikumnyang'anya
nikumtukana
La ni kutatufa
nikupata
ni maumbile ya kisasa

sasa nipe tiba kwa sindano
niwe mlemavu wa madawa
kama Shitanda na changaa
kama Ali Juma na podapoda yake
kama Kamau na sigara
kama yule na yule
wote twafanana


sitaki mawaidwadha
daktari wa sasa haaminiki
vivae vyatu vyangu
labda,
ndivyo tu utakavyojua vinavyofinya
niponye kabisa
kionjo sitaki
huruma sitaki


Right now
am in a jungle of fear
hopelessness and poverty
depression and stress
I am rotting
I am stinking
it is disheartening because
all my kids are watching

Delight

Tonight
I close my eyes
and see delight
you and I
in dim light
intertwinned
so tight
yet so right
in love not lust
that's all I want
It's all I need
It's all I will take
All I will give
It's all I think
It's all I breathe
and my subconcious mind
reminds me of this
each night
in dreams
so tonight
again
I see delight

Baby

I heard from someone that you cried out last night
that the pain had weighed you down
and the only way you could express it
was through tears

so I came to check on you
and hold your hand
and somehow let you know

that

every time the sun shuts down
and the moon hides and stars refuse to twinkle
every time everything seems to be going wrong
when you are not sure you can go on

I am standing in the gap for you
Somewhere
praying for your strength
I could probably do so little
to take it all away
But it is good to know

that

If I could
I would
take you from everything you see and feel
to a place like so
nature so green
waters so blue
sun so beautiful
somewhere
somewhere whose beauty
is deeper than the visual
just you and I

Baby

in loving memory of Sayana(2000-2009)

My years

For years
there has been a lot of tossing
guessing.. finding, keeping and losing
beating myself up and crying
then going over and over again
looking but not really looking
so it doesn't appear like am desperate

As years went on
people started saying
that I was looking for a Mr. right
and that just wasn't right
saying that that kind of man doesn't come by
it seemed like a crime to want something more
someone to fulfill a certain kind of craving
a special kind of loving.. peace and understanding
amid the haste of the world
but I believed that he was out there

But as the years went on
I bump into him
an angel... an angel...
because only an angel
would
breathe sanity in the danger of war
rain warmth in the solitude of imprisonment
shine trust in the agony of torture
and love love and love in the incidence of faults
I hope am not dreaming or going crazy
because amid these cruel happenings of the world
I feel like you came in
just as the rains drenched my soul
and saved me

As years went on
Thought I had seen…

I thought that love wears out

I thought that love wears out
I totally believed it did
played like a game
used like a rag
left, right and center
for a limited time
then thrown away
till i saw this old couple
tickling and giggling
flirting and kissing
and still.......
after 65 years
finishing each others sentences

I thought that love wears out
I honestly believed it did
with lies told
and secrets kept
and hearts with no shame,
of dragging someone along
for a limited time
then thrown away
till i saw this old couple
holding and hugging
flirting and kissing
side by side
rocking
sailing
and still........
after 65 years
finishing each others sentences

I thought that love wears out
I could argue it did
till i met this old couple
till he introduced her as
"the love of my life"
"the significance of peace and all that is right"
till she said
"after 65 years, it is still his heart and soul that is my home"

I thought that love wears out
till I saw this old couple

Something

There is something about you
something
I am trying to figure it out
something that confuses my mind
my heart and my soul
something that lights a spark of perfection
fine art and beauty

There is something about you
something
I am hating to love
The way this thing draws me to you
The way this thing makes me crave for your attention
your touch, your kiss and your tender love

There is something about you
something
more captivating than a reverie
more intoxicating than a drug
more confusing than witchcraft
something
just something
I am still trying to figure it out

The rose among thorns

I have met people in this land
those who inspire
those who challange
those who build
those who move mountains day and night
and those who do so much with their hearts and actions
and speak nothing about their deeds

I have met people in this world
men and women
who use song and dance
paint and brush
wood and stone
thread and needle
pen and paper
lens and shutter
to teach
to inspire
to move hearts and touch souls
I have seen them humble their pride
and speak nothing about their deeds

I have met people here and there
I have sat down with them
I have listened
I have learnt
and I have been moved to tears
I have pondered and wondered
how small roses like so
have hearts the size of an elephant!
And still speak nothing.......
about their deeds

The rose among thorns!

Capture this!

I travelled to a world my mother could only dream of
so I set off to the fields
just as she had asked
and I saw it
beauty in its unborn element
fresh and pure
radience
fine white beauty
cacooned in small cotton cold crystal like flakes
what they call
snow

This world my mother dreamt of
this land and atmosphere
that experienced
a kind of heavenly descent
falling just falling
gently so gently
white
light
soft
cold
flakes
so beautiful words cannot justify
snow

For days I watched in wonder
the snowfall that gave birth to snowfields
the treetops that glistened in their white puffy coats
the snowballs thrown by day
the snowmen guarding by night
the skiing
the sleigh rides
all in enjoyment of what they call
snow

I spread my arms
and inhaled the beauty
took it in for my organs to feel
should a time come for me to tell
then every part of me shoud help me describe
this cold beauty my eyes witnessed
snow

I took a picture
for my mother to see
hoping that she would capture the beauty
that she could only see in her dreams
snow

The power of you

its true
that life is one big lesson
you learn to have
an not to have
you even want to have without knowing what you really want
you learn to walk
to run
you drive
and then you get to fly
those who can glide and soar and visit the moon
the human mind suprises me at times

i have read about men and women
who have done extra odinary things
people who sat down and came up with elecricity
people who formed words and gave meaning to them
people who own half the earth
such kind of people and many more
geniouses

the biggest lesson i have learnt in life
is the power of the you not the secret
i read the book
and no i dont agree with everything in it
i dont really attract everything i want
if i were to coil it i would call it the power of you

See i am not all that of an achiever
i havent driven a car yet
leave alone sit in a plane
so many things i havent done
But the power of the individual amazes me at times
what i have today
i hoped for once
the power of the secret'?
no,
some of it i did not even dare envision i would hav…

Song of a broken heart

I am heartsick

My mentors, my teachers
We live in a lost lost world
Where good leadership is just an invented mould
And the church is a comical crowd
God doesn’t lead any more
We dumped His ways in a mole hole
To bend a knee for a prayer, we need a special event
Between the truth and lies
Knowingly, we pick the latter
And compete with The Heavenly Father
We choose when to give life and when to take it away
We let men and women get on their knees and beg us for mercy

My fathers, my mothers
We live in a bitter bitter world
Where people are slaughtered!
Head from torso!
Children are killed!
Raped!
Abused!
Houses tourched
we actually to nothing
as others lay on a mat days and days dying of starvation
Others laugh at tears
Relax in living rooms, enjoy water rides, trips and all with no fears
peace is a game of words played by the mighty
Who would never let it exist

My brothers, my sistersWe live in a cold cold world
Where husbands leave their wives
And mothers leave their babies
For earthly possessions
Where everything …

Twinkle twinkle

Twinkle twinkle little star
How i wonder how you are,
So apart we both are,
It kills my heart both in and out,
Is your heart still mine?
Am filled with doubt!
or did the memories all depart.
Do they treat you right where you are?
Or do you wish i was there all the time?
Twinkle twinkle little star
everytime i think of you the wound is fresh
and tears roll
how i miss you only heaven knows. Namatsi

pillars of namatsi

She gets up every morning
by God's will,
smiles at the first beautiful sight she sees,
the reflection in the mirror right across her room.

Royalty

an african queen
a black beautiful woman.

Whether she dances at funerals,
cries in a style
or eats 'tsiswa' and 'omena'
she is filled with an overwhelming cultural pride.

Whether th sun shines or th rain pours:
she is glad to have the present of today.
She is amazed at her awesomeness

she loves herself most
her deathly sin would be pride.
This royal soul has no tolerance for anyone or anything that doesnt love and respect her throne.
She believes that pretenders are ur worst enemies.
She is quick to anger but quick to forgive.
She is a symbol of fire.
She is a lioness, yes that big cat,
she protects herself
she protects her own
she cares
she listens
she is patient
she has a soft spot for animals (except amphibians, especialy frogs!)
she adores nature.
Loves tourism.
She is a cook,
an artist (makes things),
a writer,
a designer,
a tailor,
a dancer,
a poet

from time to time

today i celebrate you
we
the days passed
the memories we made
from time to time, make me smile, make me cry

today i celebrate you
we
the days passed
the gifts that you gave
so long ago,
but from time to time, make me smile, make me cry

today i celebrate you
we
the days passed
the last time i saw your face
the last time i felt your pain
so long ago
but from time to time, makes me tear

today i celebrate you
we
the days passed
when you'd halla
and i would check on you
so long ago
but from time to time
i sit, i wonder, i wish, i pray
that wherever you are you think of me too

from time to time

namatsi

Dear God

it happens so many times
you lifting me from the mines
where its all limeand placing me at dime
to shine

it happens so many times
and every timei sit in wonder
and ponder over why
why me?
who bends no knee
me
who bows no head
me
whose coated with sin
me
with faults and cracks
and a sack on my back
me
filthy as can be
yani, you just sat and choose me

it happens so many times
and every time i am silenced by blessings
you
never leaving me alone
you
seeing me through it all
you
guiding me even when i don't notice

it happens so many times
i just have to say that i love you
and yes
knowing that i can talk to you anytime any day
not needing any special event
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU for ALL.
Amen

lust for poetry

Let’s blaze up the place!
Create a maze,
Amaze!
With words that go BANG! and words that go ROAR!
Metrical compositions,
Carrying feelings and illusions,
Ades, Ballades, Sonnets, Rhymes,
Poems,
Yes, poems.

Let’s create temptations!
Speak to the heart,
Seduce the spirit and penetrate the soul,
Like the serpent tempted Eve!
Ha! Lets awaken chained desires.
Confuse fantasy and reality,
Give other poets, critics and readers something to ponder.
Let’s reduce crowds to silence by wonder.
For we are no imposters.
But amusers, seducers, educators and entertainers
Poets.
Yes, Poets

Let’s flame up the place!
With this passionate thirst,
This sensuous appetite,
Strong and excessive like a vampire’s thirst for blood!
If it is a crime;
Let us be wanted
haunted
and jailed!
Such is to be risked!
Because this unsatisfied lust for poetry,
Is deep to the bone.
And like a junkie we are held in its thrall.
Lust
Yes, lust
Namatsi